the sky is clearing,
after my nuclear
winter that was you. one
moment at a time, every
now and the nows to
come, are consumed with
you less, and less. your
power over me has
diminished. about time, too,
you know why? because with you,
i'm finished.

i've already lost you,
before i even had you.
why did you have to,
like me first?

everything i thought you were
to me, but that is not fair.
your busy life with your big dreams,
has no room for someone like me.

how do i forget you,
your smile, your smell,
holding your hand on state street, i
felt like a giant. now,
a ghost.

im hurting for you, because
of you, my body trembles
at your memory, of your embrace,
your eyes, and your loss.

rain of promises fell
from the stars, the night
you first held my hand, but now
the rain has faded and the
promises, well they were never really
there.

Fuck you, for coming on to me first.
Fuck you, for ignoring me in the end.
fuck you, for being so beautiful.
Thank you, for your kiss.
fuck you, Thank you.

the hardest part, of all of this,
is not that you forgot,
or that you are gone or were
leaving, it's that i tasted for the
first time, a brief look, of how
happy i could have been with
you, and then dropped at the
side, when you found something
better.

you changed me, just by the
surprise of your hand on mine.
now you're gone, and i'm left
behind.

i rarely wonder where you are
anymore, but when the infrequent
thought does, im sad for a bit, i
remember the opera, and then the
nothing after.

beautiful in your eyes,
beautiful in your smile,
wonder in your kiss,
lost in your embrace,
heavens showering their blessings
over us, guess they
didnt know.

the taste of your neck,
the smell of your hair,
fuck you for ignoring,
fuck you for leaving,
fuck you.

if you ever make it,
remember this,
if you ever fake it,
remember when,
if you ever meet someone
who falls in love with you,
remember, if you love them back,
show them. if not,
tell them.

heaven pouring on us,
but you were not of it,
the world i thought i lived in.
you broke my heart, with your
silence.

silence shatters any doubt,
cast in shadows of loneliness,
at every turn i see your face,
even when i close my eyes, you are
burnt into me.

behind my eyes,
no one ever sees,
through my eyes,
no one ever feels,
the real me is not me,
real is not real,
it is only perception and
observation. the real is
abstract.

stars at dawn

songs of you flutter throughout
my mind, reminding me of us together. they
bring me back to the memory
of the hope i once had, but
when the music ends, so do
i.

your image burns in my
heart and screams in my mind.the
brief moments we were together feel more
real when remembered than all the
time that we've been apart.

to feel the touch of you again, to
smell your brown hair, embrace in you, and
melt at your smile, now,
are all fleeting hopes, disappearing, like
stars at dawn.

goodbye, my almost love,
goodbye,
mark.

i imagine you, tall and proud,
standing beside me, my hand in
yourse, we would walk through
a firestorm of people, of lust
and perfection and sex and
fun, but when you would look
at me, and i into your eyes,
everything, everyone, vanishes, and
when we kiss, we are alone,
one, solid, and the storm, it
rages past us, around us, but
we are strong, together.

though just a dream, i still feel
it as real, and i'm sad.
go to boston, go to harvard,
earn your education. but, when
it's all done, and you stand
alone in your life of friends,
who will you have? i
hope someone.

the choice

how do i get over you,
how do i forget what we
had? i need to accept,
that, you made your decision,
your choice. now i must
move forward, without you.
i guess, comfort, in a way, can
be found in that, in a parallel
universe, you chose the other
choice, and we are together, and
right now, we are holding
hands.

i sometimes wonder where you
are, who you're with, what
you are doing. i just hope
you are happy.

i used to dwell on songs and
places which reminded me of
you. now, i can laugh.

wonderful times were had

by all, well, by both. now,

surrender to the failure you

made, he's gone, he's leaving,

he left.

dream

my dream has left, has flown away,
to begin a new life of its own,
one alone,
to never remember, and never say,
i'm sorry for the silence, and,
i'm sorry we met that day.